Tales From a Non-Morning Mommy

Tales From a Non-Morning Mommy

                I can tell this is a dream.  I’m sitting in a large travel bus with the rest of the fab five from high school, handing out cupcakes with pink frosting.  We are celebrating Stacie’s birthday.  It’s not that I’m with my best friends from high school that gives it away that this is a dream.  It’s the fact that I’m pulling cupcakes out of a backpack like Mary Poppins and they come out practically perfect in every way.  Pristine pink frosting and not a sprinkle out of place.  I start to pull out her birthday present when I feel someone smack me.  My eyes groggily open.  Mady smacks me again.

“Mom! Deklyn is awake!”

Normally I will lay in bed until I can actually move around without falling over, but I decide to zombie over to his room so maybe they can play together while I try and wake up.  I walk into Deklyn’s room and like the scene.  Mady is sitting on his floor playing with his toys while he is happily watching her in his crib.  I will my arms to move to lift him out of the crib.  My body feels heavy with sleep.  As soon as I lift him out of the crib he starts.  No sweet hugs or kisses or good morning mommy’s, instead I get a loud chanting of “I wan go gawfing”, “I wan go gawfing!”  I can feel my small burst of energy draining, and my dizziness is catching up to me.  I walk back to my bed.  Deklyn is continuing his chant behind me.

“I WAN GO GAWFING!, I WAN GO GAWFING!”

                My throat is dry and sore from sleep but I finally muster up an “OK Deklyn!”  I finally flop onto the bed before my legs turn to jelly underneath me.  I feel as though I have been drugged, or coming out of a very heavy dose of Anesthesia.  As soon as I am on the bed, Mady jumps on behind me.  Of course as any child would, she jumps more onto me than onto the bed.  “Mommy can I watch Teen Beach Movie 2!?”

I finally croak out a small yes.

My face still feels swollen from sleep and my body still feels abnormally warm.  Sadly this is when all hell breaks loose.  I hear the TV turn on.  Then I hear Deklyn say, “I watch Tigee!”

“It’s A Perfect Day”

An instant later I hear Deklyn’s screams of protest.  Things are not going the way he wants them to.  He continues to scream.  Then his screams are joined by Mady’s supersonic high pitched screams and cries.  I know that a fight over control has taken place. I jump out of bed and sway a bit.  Rush out to the living room where Mady is on the floor crying and Deklyn is on the couch looking guilty.  I think it’s a new record.  5 minutes from the time that everyone has woken up and we are all crying and needing time outs.  What song plays at the beginning of Legally Blonde?

 “It’s a perfect day.”

She sang sarcastically.